I have never had a good expensive olive, you know the kind you can buy buffet-style at the grocery store (or pick off of olive trees in Italy). All the olives I have ever eaten have been canned. Growing up in small-town Kansas olives weren't really the "in" thing.
The buffet-olives always look so plump and juicy. And I know they must be drenched in bitter salty goodness.
My friends and I used to mouth "olive juice" because it looks like you're saying "I love you."
Gaze into a mirror and try it.
Oh, you just loved yourself, how nice.
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