Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Critically Aware That We Need More Critical Awareness.

Are there some people who exist in this world that are just so incredibly stupid that it would be impossible for them to change?

How does it happen?

Are they not encouraged to read as young children?

Are they so in love with their own boring existence that they think they are in fact perfect and everyone else around them is wrong?
I have this conspiracy theory, okay, it's not really a conspiracy, but most people, the "average" citizens of the United States perpetuate "norms" without even taking time to decide whether those norms are actually functional and beneficial to society at large. By doing this they stand-up for values, and really stick behind them, without even using their own brains to decide if they even like them. This is what causes stagnation and lack of positive transformation.

Why aren't the youth taught how to critically analysis situations? Because then adults will lose their "power" over them. Which, if people are not taught how to examine or deconstruct then they'll go on believing FOX news, or the idea that feminists are the EVIL ones, or even that any other race other than their own is inferior (though most will have learned not to say it out loud).

So I'm wondering...can the general public, on a large scale, come to critically examine the space we live in, and with that examination find ways to improve upon it?

What would it take for a jackass misogynist who calls feminists' cunts because he can't handle his own manhood to learn that we're not out to cut off his dick?

We're actually here to help make the world a better place for everyone.

Obviously there is the fear of the unknown, the fear that their comfort zones will be rudely taken away, that they will no longer be given all the great luxuries in life--like the ability to walk down the sidewalk without a concern in the world.

So in the end, does it come down to all of us engaged citizens to just sort of ignore all the trash going on in "average" land and try to make changes on our own?

How do we get those who seem impossible, who seem downright stupid to open their minds?

Monday, December 13, 2010

Get Your Holiday Drink On With These Easy Cocktail Recipes.

I don't know about any of you, but I sure like to have a long-extended buzz over the holidays. Why not spice up the drinking with some of my favorite winter recipes.

Holly Jolly Hangover, Surprise!
1 part vodka (can be flavored)
1 part midori (melon liquor)
2 parts club soda, tonic water or a 7UP like beverage
splash of lime juice
garnish with maraschino cherries.

Put it in a regular glass over ice. Enjoy.

Apple-Jacked Cider

1 part dark rum
1 part cinnamon schnapps
3 parts apple cider
garnish with cinnamon stick or slice of apple

Can warm up the cider then add the liquor or pour it all over ice depending on your mood.

Pomegranpagne Celebrate!

1 Shot of pomegranate liquor
Pour into glass
Fill with Champagne
garnish with lemon twist (or just drink it quickly).

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Let's Party Like We're Grandmas.

As I've gotten older I often wake up, hung-over, wondering why I did that again.

I mean seriously. Why did I do that again, knowing that I was going to feel like shit the entire day?
And another thing. Why do we go to bars?

I don't get it.

We go to the bar with a group of people, sit around with that group of people, only talk to that group of people, while judging all the other groups of people sitting around judging the other groups of people.

And for what? A future of bad hearing, debt, and liver cancer?

Wouldn't it make more sense for the group to just hang out at one of the members' houses? It's quiet. You can play the music you like, and generally it's cheaper (that is, if everyone BYOB's and doesn't mooch off of host's stock).

Also...it can be done earlier...so we can get to bed at a decent hour.

Old grannie, you call me?

I like bingo.

I like Wheel of Fortune.

I like blue hair.

I like crocheted kleenex boxes. (not really).

I can't wait until I'm old and get to live in one of those community centers where we have weekend dances, where I won't have to leave the building to get my hair did or eat dinner.

I mean, I can wait. But I'm very excited for it. (yes I should probably just go live in a commune...whatever).

Anyway, I digress. Is it so wrong to want to be social and yet want to not waste the entire next day? I don't think so.

Control you suggest.

Well, even if I don't drink as much but we're still out until 3 a.m. — we're still out until 3 a.m. And I like to get a good 8 to ten hours of sleep.

But it's like some people can't seem to become fun until they think they're parents have gone to bed or something. I mean hello. They. Don't. Care. They were once almost just like you, and if they were just the opposite of you, why do you care, they sound like assholes?


What's better than a good heated debate over cyborgs, or the art of being a hipster, or eating cheese? Or whatever weird topics people in circles seem to come up with while drinking. It's hard (though possible) to have these discussions in bars, but it's really easy to have them in someone's living room.

And if things get real steamy between certain people--a bedroom is only steps away. . .

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Are We All Over-Stuffed?

A friend recently accomplished the 100 Things Challenge. The idea: to only possess that which is completely necessary for living. 100 Things (or less). Everything else must go.

A part of me is really intrigued by this minimalist approach, as it says in Fight Club, "the things you own end up owning you."

But my friend also doesn't have a bed.
And this is where we part ways.

Obviously his 100 things would be completely different from mine (if I actually took it up); a bed would be my #1 priority—as I enjoy sleeping—perhaps a bit too much.

It's an interesting choice; I entirely support anyone who can do it. In fact, it may be the closest thing to anti-capitialism that I can think of. And I love anything anti-capitalism.
But I also love dumpster diving.

Thrift Store shopping.

Garage Sale-ing.

There are very few things in my apartment that have been bought "new." And they are almost entirely electronics--do I need my t.v., I probably don't need it, but I really don't mind having it.
Could I walk away from my apartment full of stuff with no regrets?

When the four-mile fire was creeping nearer I truly evaluated what I would take with me if I could only fill my car.

1) My computer
2) my journals
3) photo albums
4) certain clothing items

But that's stuff that can't be replaced. Not stuff one needs to live.

I guess my greatest fear is getting rid of my stuff and it just piling up in a landfill somewhere. Is that any better really? I mean it may de-clutter my life, but it doesn't create any less clutter in the world. And if I give it to someone else, aren't I just allowing them to become more cluttered as well?

A better goal for me may be to donate useful items that aren't useful to me to people I know need them, and to just not buy any more shit. It may be a good goal for most people to start with...perhaps ease into 100 things.

Overall, I think this is the perfect time to evaluate what one has, what one needs and what one should let go of.

The holidays in the United States are sadly a time for celebrating over-consumption, from stuff to food, but it doesn't have to be.

We can jointly make it more about connection and community, which, in my opinion, should be what it's all about anyway.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Vegan Day 21-25

Day 21 Dec. 5
Breakfast: left-over vegan pizza
Lunch: baked potato with home made salsa, and broccoli with garlic and balsamic vinegar
Snacks: crackers, white beans, popcorn
Dinner: Salad Wrap
Day 22 Dec. 6
Breakfast: 0
Lunch: Hapa tofu bowl
Snacks: edamame
Dinner: sweet potato/red onion tart

Day 23 Dec. 7
Breakfast: toast
Lunch: teriyaki tofu bowl
Snacks: apple
Dinner: potatoes

Day 24 Dec. 8
Breakfast: oatmeal
Lunch: quinoa vege bean surprise
Snacks: apple, grapes, pineapple
Dinner: black bean burgers with homemade potato wedges

Day 25 Dec. 9

Breakfast: toast with peanut butter and pineapple
Lunch: garden burger and fries (Mountain Sun)
Snacks: apple
Dinner: salad with stuff in it

Thoughts: I'm beginning to lean more towards my friend's viewpoint of being a "non-strict" vegan as opposed to a "strict vegetarian." What that means is that I plan to make most meals vegan but if I occasionally have something with eggs in it or cheese or whatever I'm not going to cry myself to sleep.

This is also the case with products that contain animal-parts. I will make the gradual shift over into making sure most everything I have is animal-friendly, but again, I'm not going to beat myself up if my soap I bought 2 months ago has gelatin in it, why? Because I already bought it and I'm more about not being wasteful. In fact, I think my best diet would be that of a freegan. Mainly because I'd be saving money, I'd not be wasteful, and I could use my creativity to develop amazing meals out of weird findings. But, I'd also have to shop in dumpsters and have yet to gain the courage to sift through grocery stores' trash. (though I will do it some day, I swear).

Girls in Yoga Pants Smash the Patriarchy. Absurdity At its Finest.

So when I first started writing for elephant journal I was given an assignment to cover a website called girls in yoga pants. For some reason it's been incredibly popular, which is fine, except everyone who reads it has started attacking me personally, particularly my physical appearance.
Now, generally I have about a 80% comfort level with my body... I'm mostly confident, I workout, I eat decently, I comb my hair, I shower. Whatever. I don't really need the world to tell me I'm beautiful (though a few people here and there never hurts). What does hurt, though, is that people are perfectly okay with attacking other people instead of attacking the ideas. I'd at least find it tolerable if they just said my thoughts were wrong, or my idea was stupid, but saying that my boobs aren't tan enough and my posture is not straight enough, (basing this all on one picture) is absurd and pointless.

The point was that women who send in pictures of their asses are objectifying themselves. It's simple. When it's only your ass, and it's only for other people's sexual gratification, then your ass (hence you) are an object.

If we continue to argue about stupid meaningless things then we are just conforming to the oppressions that already bring us down.

Doesn't it seem strange that we gang up on each other instead of actually paying attention to the real issues?

My tan line is insignificant in the scheme of things. People outright choosing to degrade themselves and then calling it a personal choice, to me, are right in that it's a personal choice, but are wrong in that it is still degradation.

I'm sex positive, when the sex is positive. That is, when it's on an equal level and consensual (this can even include S&M etc. as long as everyone involved is doing it because it brings them pleasure).

But I don't think emailing pics off one's butt is positive. Because again, it's an objectification, and though some people may enjoy being objects, it's still not equal or consensual. As men again, are getting what they want at the price of women needing to be validated by them.

And when I write an article about girl in yoga pants being a problem of objectification it's pretty much complete bullshit to try to turn me into one.

It's an attempt to counteract the issue instead of admitting we have work to do.

It's letting the system tell people how to think (again and again) instead of using any critical analysis to deconstruct the situation and try to make it better.

It's defending the patriarchy. And in that defense oppression keeps chugging along, waving it's ugly head. Festering in the deep dark places of our psyche, telling us it's okay to argue about the insignificant things like the author's breasts, because she is wrong and Big Daddy is right. Always. Right.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Karma is for REAL!!!!!!

So, this Karma thing must be some serious shit. Oh, yeah, I told myself I'd stop cussing so much.

So, this karma thing must be some serious poo balls. Why? Well here's why.
The other day, someone commented on a blog post of mine, basically saying that I need to focus on my "own problems" and then I, of course, said something snarky out loud, which was, "I would except I don't have problems, that's why I make fun of other people."

Then my grandma calls and tell me about her car being possessed. She said how she was out getting groceries and her car horn kept going off, like a demon car or something. She got behind people at stop signs and her car horn kept honking and honking. And of course I laughed, as it seemed like a scene straight out of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Which made me want to write a tv show. Though that would be like the only situation I'd have to go on.

So here's where the karma comes in. Make fun of my life being "problem-free" + make fun of grandma's car = problem with car.

So yeah, my car ended up having a lot of car sex with my friend Dan's car. I was beginning to think it was addicted to his battery power (which I suppose was true). But now, after taking the car to rehab it should be fixed.

And now I will only do nice things and say nice positive comments about life so as to keep my life problem-free for real.

Ha! (I doubt that's even possible even for the most positive of people, they just don't take it as seriously).

Monday, December 6, 2010

Why Yes I'm Wearing Underwear, Thank You For Your Concern.

So at the bar Saturday night, this drunk guy wearing a holiday snowflakes sweater, was all alone playing a game of pool by himself. Somehow, later, he ended up talking to me and though I thought he was mentally retarded I played nice....Until he asked me, "Are you wearing any underwear?"

And this is where a drinking buddy comes in handy. Because my drinking buddy could have encouraged me to punch him in the face, because I really wanted to. But, no, instead I just tore him a new asshole, which may have hurt more than my punching abilities would have (I have practiced taebo for many years, so the double-time to the forehead could have been a killer, but that's a major "could have been"). But seriously.

This is the problem with breeder bars.

This is why boystown was the only place I drank in Chicago, because gay men don't ask if women are wearing underwear or not.

I seriously don't know how that holiday sweater dude made it out of the bar in one piece.

I'm still just really curious as to why it matters to dudes whether or not a woman has on underwear. I mean, I was wearing jeans so even if I didn't it's not like he could have gotten a "sneak peak" and even if I weren't it's not like I would have shown him anything anyway.

Why do some men think they're privileged enough to have their porn fantasies come to life? It's like those assholes who catcall women on the street, what woman has ever stopped and fucked one of those guys?

What did that dude think was going to happen? That I'd say, "oh big boy, you're so sexy, of course I'm not wearing underwear, hot girls never wear underwear, don't you know that? tee hee tee hee, want to see? Follow me to the bathroom and I'll fuck your stupid-retard brain out, tee hee."


And people think we're "post-feminism." Sorry but the constant objectification of women proves that a post-feminist world is still far far away.

(to clarify, it doesn't make it "equality" to objectify men either, it just makes more bullshit drama.)

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Vegan Day 12-20

Day 12 Nov. 26th

breakfast/dinner: left overs

lunch= I failed and had a slice of pizza (such is life)

Day 13 Nov. 27th

breakfast/lunch: left-overs

Dinner: tofu scramble from Turleys

Day 14 Nov. 28th

more thanksgiving leftovers for lunch and dinner (there were a lot)

Day 15 Nov. 29th

Lunch: chic’n salad wrap with edamame

snacks: apple

dinner: salad with vegetable strudel and fruit bowl (pineapple, black berries grapes)

Day 16 Nov. 30th

skipped food and had a coffee breakfast (slick)

Lunch Happa vege roll + vege dumplings

snacks: apple

Dinner: quinoa bean burrito

Day 17 Dec. 1st

breakfast: toast

Lunch: quinoa bean burrito

snack: grapes, edamame,

Dinner: sweet potato and red onion tart

Day 18 Dec. 2

Breakfast: quinoa bean burrito

Lunch: edamame, chic'n sandwich

Snacks: apple

Dinner: chili and tortilla chips

Day 19 Dec. 3

Breakfast: cereal

Lunch: baked potato and broccoli drizzled with balsamic vinegar and sprinkled with sunflower seeds

Snacks: P.B. and whole wheat crackers

Dinner: Vegan Pizza from Sun Delis

Day 20 Dec 4

Breakfast: left-0ver pizza

lunch: left-over vege strudel

snacks: grapes, orange

dinner: Vegan Meetup Potluck food (I made quinoa dish and caramelized onion breadsticks.)

Thoughts: So I've slipped up once or twice. Once being a slice of pizza and twice being eating candy without really paying attention. It's seems slightly difficult when company is present, not when I'm cooking, but when we're out at a restaurant, especially once which I'd have to get a whole pizza catered to me (which I could have done but felt uncomfortable). Plus some people just don't get it, and I already have so many battles to fight: capitalism, the patriarchy, assholes. I'm just adding to my list, which is becoming really long. I'm cool with not being mainstream, but what comes with anti-conformity is what I call difficulty. And by difficulty I mean constantly arguing and defending myself (which is the whole point in getting other people to change etc.) but it's hard work. As they say, "it's about progress not perfection."

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Angry Music for Angry People.

Sometimes it's good to let all that anger out. And why not do it while jamming out to some angry music!

Here are my Top Picks.

For a Bitter Angry:

Try Fiona Apple

For: A F U to the World:

Try Slipknot

For an Angry Feminist Rant at the Patriarchy:

Try Bikini Kill

For an Angry Dance Rage:

For Cynical and Constant Anger:

Try Sleater-Kinney

To Overcome Anger:

Try singing Salt 'N Pepa

Friday, December 3, 2010

How to Be a Slut in 3 Easy Steps.

I was reading this Jezebel article about sluttiness and according to a recent study being slutty could just be part of certain people's DNA.

The claim was that people with the dopamine variant DRD4 have higher "thrill-seeking" motivations. In other words, it feels really good for them to take big risks.

Now, I don't really know about the accuracy of this study (they only had 181 participates) but I do know people who are sluttier than others and I don't know if it really has to do with DNA or if it's more of a cultural/social response.

What does it really mean to be a slut anyway?

Can being slutty ever be a good thing?

I'd like to think that there is a time and a place for sluttiness. And whether or not a person is walking around with the DRD4 variant, those seeking pleasure (safely and respectfully) shouldn't be punished or shamed.

Never Been a Slut?

Here are 3 Easy Steps.
1) Find a partner (or two or three...)
2) Have some sort of sexual exploration with partner/s (safely)
3) Thank the partner/s for a wonderful time (if it was wonderful), leave, go home, shower, and enjoy the rest of your day.


Thursday, December 2, 2010

"What's Your Deepest Darkest Secret?"

I remember in my youth having "sleep-overs" with my BFF and we'd talk all night long about anything and everything.

I remember slumber parties with handfuls of girls, chatting, laughing, playing games. But the biggest game of the night was always a question:

"What's Your Deepest Darkest Secret?"

And we'd all have one, even though we were all like 11, 12, 13. The secrets were rarely very deep nor very dark, but they were ours to share with each other.

I think that the curiosity to discover other people's lives decreases with age.

Or maybe we want to discover, but now that we're older just coming out and asking what someone's secrets are can lead to very dangerous territory--either because you'd have to find them help or it would be TMI (aka some weird STD or fetish or clown obsession etc).

Sometimes when I chat with people I feel blind-sighted. They ask me a question, a simple question and I can't think of any type of intellectual response. Or even a dumb response. I just sort of mumble something, then, later when I lay in bed late at night I come up with a Larry David line or a Janeane Garofalo response and I think, damn, I should really become a comedian, if only I could reply faster, quicker, easier than I do in public.

But maybe there's something to the art of conversation. It's difficult with facebook. You can know what "friends" likes without ever asking them. Friends update their problems or happinesses before even anyone even sees them in "live" format. So coming up with things to talk about becomes an exercise in creativity.

And because I love a good conversation (and a good slumber party, hint hint), I've come up with ten questions to spark more intriguing dialogue if you are like me and ever get stuck (or bored).

1) Have you ever been in a fight, (a physical fight)?

2) Where’s the weirdest place you’ve done it?

3) If you could be any feminist which feminist would you be and why?

4) If Mother Teresa and Jesus were in a mud wrestling competition who do you think would win and why?

5) If you could do it all over again (and you couldn't pick going into the current field you’re in) what would you pick instead and why?

6) Who is your favorite philosopher and why?

7) Who is your favorite feminist and why? or If you were a riot grrrl song, what would you be?

8) If you were magically transformed into a alcoholic beverage, what would you be and why?

9) If you could pick anywhere in the world to live, where would you choose and why?

And if by this time the person seems, not so crazy, then hit'em with the big one:

10) What’s your deepest darkest secret?

Want to know mine?

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Music Throwback Nostalgia? No Thank You.

I woke up with Wonderwall stuck in my head. I even started singing it in the bathroom. And I was like wtf?

I remember hearing it like two weeks ago at a bar, which really got me thinking.

I suppose it's obvious that bars are now playing the music that matches our age demographic, that which we listened to in our "nostalgic" years.

But could we just not?

These songs are depressing. Most of the songs that were popular (and close to decent), when we were say freshman in high school, are total downers. I mean, Hello Alanis! It was a real downy time and I really don't want to go back there. Especially when I'm drinking (it being a depressant and everything).

Yes, I know, you're thinking, what about the Spice Girls? What about the Backstreet Boys? Britney? N'Sync? Christina? Hansen?!?

Can we just sort of keep them all locked in that bubble in time? Can they only play back in our memories and not actually while we're making new ones?

Just saying.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Five Lessons Learned from Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott

Because she know's what's up.

1) Remember Your Umbrella

You Are Too Fat (And I Like It).

I'm going to take a moment to be complete honest.

The best thing about facebook is seeing people from high school/ undergrad that I never liked who are now fat.

It really just gives me a a little thrill. My body tingles with joy when they come up on my newsfeed in someone else's (of whom I liked) photo albums and I catch a glimpse of the person who used to be in shape now overflowing with the left-over calories of too many naty-lights or busch lights or whatever they're drinking down in the big K-A-N.

I'm most excited when I find out an ex has put on massive poundage. My heart races, I start to perspire, I take a big breath in, wipe the sweat from my brow and sigh with relief, "at least I got out of that one in time." And, I like to think I had them at "their peak."(I'm sure they think otherwise, hence the breaking up part).

I am slightly disappointed though as I imagined more people from my past would be overweight by now. Especially those from high school. They've have plenty of time.

Isn't there some percentage that all classes must reach? Like 3/4 must gain 20 to 50 pounds, 1/2 must pop out kids and/or get married and like 1/16 must actually do something cool with their lives?

Not that I'm doing anything that cool, which is why I probably find happiness in other people's misery. Or I'm just an asshole. But, I don't really care. Why? Because I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, I'm just the only one mean/brave/evil enough to say it out loud.

Of course, this means I will have to keep hardcore working out, so, I myself, don't fall into the fat trap, but I guess that's part of the point. I say it out-loud and thus I force myself to not become a hypocrite or a walking contradiction etc. Though I've always been a curvy creature, I think they like to call it voluptuous, but that's my cross to bear.

And what about the people from back in the day who I like/d who have now gained weight? Nothing. Indifference. Why? Because they aren't assholes. So their weight means nothing to me. I don't find that it makes a difference in who they are as people, because they are still badass and/or cool.

Whereas the assholes who were assholes then are still assholes now, the only difference is that I can't take them as seriously because they look like rolly-pollies. And that makes me so happy inside.

Monday, November 29, 2010

An All Vegan Thanksgiving.

The Fam. (minus me)

The menu:
Vegetable Strudel (with spinach, tofu "feta", mushrooms), garlic mashed potatoes, roll, green bean casserole, and the best part, stuffing!

green bean casserole

Stuffing (yum!)

Appetizers: hummus w/ veges and pita chips and bean salad with chips.


Chocolate Cupcakes with Mousse Frosting

Pecan pie.

Surprised at how good all the food was. Happy to have had plenty of left-overs!

Friday, November 26, 2010

Vegan: Days 5-10

Day 5 Nov. 19th

Breakfast: oatmeal

Lunch: orzo stirfry w/ faux chick’n

Snacks: toast w/vegan butter

Dinner: fries + beer (healthiest dinner ever!)

Day 6 Nov. 20th

Breakfast: vegan doughnuts & half/vegan chocolate chip muffin

(Who said being vegan meant only eating "healthy" food?)

Lunch: leftover orzo stir fry

Snacks: black grapes, white beans, pecans, salad (lettuce + carrots + sunflower seeds + Italian dressing)

Dinner: Tofu stirfry with brown rice

Day 7 Nov. 21st

Breakfast: doughnut holes with blackberries and pineapple

Lunch: left-over orzo

Snacks: salad

Dinner: black bean and butternut squash chili

Day 8 Nov. 22nd

Breakfast: toast w/ vegan butter

Lunch: Hapa tofu bowl

Snacks: popcorn

Dinner: more chili yum!

Day 9 Nov. 23

Breakfast: half a vegan muffin

Lunch/Dinner: pasta w/ chick'n patty.

Day 10 Nov. 24

Breakfast: toast with fruit

Lunch: baked potato w/ chili on top

Dinner: Pueblo Corn Pie

Thoughts: Coming along.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I'm Not Totally Bitter, Here's What I'm Thankful For:

Many years ago, while attending what could be considered my worst Thanksgiving dinner (yet) at a former boyfriend's family's place, after I had "cut" the cranberry sauce incorrectly, and then hung out with the guys instead of helping the "women" in the kitchen (after doing everything wrong why would I stick around?), we were all forced to go around the table and say what we were thankful for. Again I gave an epic fail answer when I said, "tulips and ice cream."

What the f is wrong with tulips and ice cream? Was I supposed to say "I'm thankful for a boyfriend who has such a judgmental family?"

Anyhoo. I don't think that boyfriend and I spent another thanksgiving together (and if we did it wasn't with his family).
So here's my list bitches. And if it's not good enough for you, well then, perhaps you should ask WWJD and go walk on water.

I'm thankful for:
tortilla chips
digital cameras
my mac
record players
netflix streaming
a tv to watch netflix on
club soda
orange juice
an indoor bathroom
plungers (what did people do before plungers?)
a nice comfortable bed
fall leaves
strings for guitars
Garage Band
good music at just the right time
jumping pictures
oh ok, this blog too
writing in general
writing specifically
Margaret Sanger
birth control (though more people should consider using it)
bell hooks
Judith Butler
queer theory
playing with gender
cyborg feminism
art that doesn't piss me off (good luck)
Jake Gyllenhaal
Almost being able to spell his last name correctly after having a crush on him for 8 years
Maggie Gyllenhaal
James Franco
having crushes
making out
Ryan for putting up with me
new Boulder friends
old awesome friends
family (even the weird ones and the ones in jail)
f-ing tulips and ice cream (now vegan ice cream)

Now I doubt anyone would actually want me to say all of that at the dinner table.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Top 5 Reasons for Reclusion.

Lately I've been thinking about going into hiding. I am really curious if I could become a full-time recluse with government funding...I mean it is considered a mental disorder right? Surely my want to not be around people would grant a monthly paycheck.

It would be for the good of "man" kind. Maybe.

Here are Five Reasons Why I Should be a Recluse:

1) Weather
Winter is nearing it's ugly gray cold face and well, I don't really want to deal with it. And by the time winter is over, blooming flowers and chirping birds will more than likely get on my nerves. Never mind the hot heat of summer and all the beautiful people walking around almost naked, I don't want that shoved down my throat again.

2) My Blood Pressure
It's high. Like really high. And I'd like to blame it on bad drivers and stupid people. If I didn't leave the apartment then I wouldn't be on the road or around any dumb-asses and my stress level would be low, very low.

3) Friends
I, like, totally, for sure, don't have a BFF here, so there's like no ones hair to french braid and like no one to read Vogue with. Ah! Bummer.

4) The Book
Yeah, I'm supposed to start writing one of those and what better way then to do it the Emily Dickinson/J.D. Salinger way?

5) Ease
I've decided I'm terrible at conversing with people. I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I may have hit a dead end road in the world of topics I care to discuss. It's no one's fault but my own. And to save everyone else from being around me. I think I'll just hide for awhile.

Now I just have to find a grocery store (and liquor store) that delivers. Shouldn't be too difficult.

Monday, November 22, 2010

5 Books I Can't Get Through.

Ever since I finished grad school I've been sort of ADHD with my reading. I seem to love to start books, but have gotten really bad at following through all the way with them.

If anyone has recommendations on whether I should "just do it" or "just toss it" I would greatly appreciate it.

1) Annie Dillard: The Living

It's set back in the day and just hasn't liven up to my expectations of Dillard...I guess I just can't get past the past. The writing is good of course, it's just the storyline is nothing I can really relate to thus far.

2) Diane DIPrima: Pieces of a Song
I'm just really bad at reading poetry no matter how "beat" worthy it is.

3) Judith Butler: Undoing Gender

It's theory. And it's Butler. Thus, it's just going to take me a while.

4) Gabriel Garcia Marquez: One Hundred Years of Solitude

It's taken me like 100 days to get through 100 pages. I don't know why, I just can't get into it. Maybe there are just too many characters to remember.

5) Jane Goodall: Reason for Hope

Ryan won this book at the vegan meetup. It's pretty Jesus-y so far. I don't know if I can handle it much longer.

I don't know. I'm just really in the mood for a really good book. I don't want to re-read books I know are good, I want to read new ones, would love suggestions if any of you all have any. Also if you think I should power-through with any of these five let me know and I'll give them all another shot.