Friday, December 11, 2009

Hey Cracker! Hey, crackers! Yum.



The other day I decided to make homemade crackers. I know many of you probably think this is nutso because you can easily buy large amounts of crackers “cheaply” at any neighborhood store. Well. Here. I’ll give you some logical. I had hummus, but nothing to dip into the hummus. It was negative degrees outside, like -10. I had ALL of the ingredients to make crackers. I thought it wouldn’t cause anyone any harm. Plus I got to turn on the oven—helping to warm up the apartment. So, no, I am not a Martha Stewart wanna-be. I just like food.

As I was making the crackers I started wondering why “cracker” is a derogatory word for “white” people. Here are two reasons why this doesn’t work. 1) What is wrong with a cracker? Nothing really. They are generally salty, crispy, and delicious, so calling someone a cracker is like calling someone a pretzel or a potato chip—it has no true pain attached to it. 2) The crackers I made were decidedly not close to any shade of white. They were in fact, brown with speckles of green and red. Sort of like how white people aren’t generically white but more shades of wall-paint-white, like ivory or seashell or soymilk with speckles of freckles and zits and scruff and red blush.

My crackers were whole wheat crackers with jalapenos, paprika, cumin…they were very much not enriched flour white, crackers.

They turned out wonderfully, by the way. They were softer than store-bought crackers, if I try again I’ll just roll them out thinner. They were still delicious though. And my hummus thanked me. And my oven thanked me. And my apartment thanked me for warming it up.

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