The Good, The Bad, and The Solutions for my 2011.

Though I do not particularly care to make “new year resolutions” I do find it important to reflect on the past year and see what areas need improvement. And because I know immediately that one of my biggest issues is negativity for everything that needs improvement I’ll write another thing I’ve done pretty well.

The Bad

Focus (or lack there of)

I think this is becoming a bigger and bigger issue for people. With the ability to click click click on the internet without ever really settling in to read a longish article, or the ability to see what a friend is doing without calling them, or even asking them; plus the fact that I personally want to accomplish so many things that I end up getting overwhelmed and just watching Netflix because I can’t decide, or the projects are too big, or the ideas aren’t solid enough.

The Solution

Meditation.

I am mixed on this practice but I’m going to give in a try and see if it helps. I don’t think it’s going to hurt anything.

The Good

Go-Getting

I’m pretty happy with the fact that once I moved to Boulder I didn’t just sit and sulk in my apartment. I went out right away and volunteered for different organizations, and I started an internship almost immediately after getting here, which has, for the most part, been a very positive experience—plus I’ve met some really amazing people and I can’t complain about that.

The Bad

Miss Judgmental

I think I could be a really great comedian…but I’m not. That being said I should really cut back on the judging. Mainly I judge strangers, so no one is really harmed, as they have no idea what I’m even saying about them, but I am putting negativity into the world by being mean. And I’m sure most people around me laugh only because they don’t want to become the person I make fun of. In other words, I can be a mega-bitch. It must be my low-self esteem masked by an appearance of extreme egotism.

The Solution

Polite Commentary

I know, it’s boring to be nice and the golden rule is about as fun as golden showers but just like I’m doing this post, with every mean thing I say about someone I have to counter that with something nice, or positive, preferably saying the positive thing first, and the negative thing not at all, but this is going to take some work.

The Good

elephant journal writing

I feel that by writing feminist/LGTBQ articles etc. on elephant journal specifically, I am able to get those ideas out to people who don’t already completely think that way already, unlike sites like Jezebel, Bitch, Bust…. who already have a mainly feminist following, I think writing about these sort of topics on a more general site is quite powerful and makes me feel that my voice is being heard—and maybe even sometimes listened to. Yay!

The Bad

Confidence

Many people think I’m a badass. Well, here’s a shocker for you all. I am not.

Well, I am, actually, but I could be EVEN more of a badass if I believed in myself and my ideas more. I often keep silent because we, Women and Gender studies graduates have learned to “pick our battles,” and honestly I don’t think I pick to get into enough.

The Solution

More Heated Debates

I honestly feel frightened that I’m going to be labeled the “token feminist,” the annoying one who “won’t let anything go,” the person people are going to be afraid to talk around, but you know, if people are afraid they’ll say something wrong around a feminist, then perhaps they shouldn’t be talking. I mean fuck them. They obviously know that what they’re saying is misogynistic, or sexist, or gender stereotyping—they’re the ones who should feel bad, not me.

So—instead of “picking my battles,” I’m just going to fucking battle. Which means I’m going to need a lot of coffee and a lot of back-up. I must prepare to fight—if I want anything to change I can’t keep quiet and let people continue to be assholes. Just because I’m afraid I’ll “hurt their feelings,” or perhaps more afraid that I won’t win my argument. I'm not here to "shove my beliefs down everyone's throats," but I am here to defend them and I'm not going to back off just because people love to bring other people down (particularly people love to degrade and humiliate feminists because it's common protocol in the U.S.) excuse us for wanting to end oppression. (I'll go into more of this tomorrow).

The Good

Brutal Honesty

So it doesn't work out so well in the judgmental category, but it works well when I turn that honesty inward (and I hope, when I turn on my battle fights).

The fact that I am capable of understanding my flaws, exposing them, and also having the willingness to work on them is pretty good.

Alright. Well. I think that's plenty to work on. We shall see how well I improve myself this year.

Cheers to 2011.

I'm happy to be back.

Critically Aware That We Need More Critical Awareness.

Are there some people who exist in this world that are just so incredibly stupid that it would be impossible for them to change?

How does it happen?

Are they not encouraged to read as young children?

Are they so in love with their own boring existence that they think they are in fact perfect and everyone else around them is wrong?

I have this conspiracy theory, okay, it's not really a conspiracy, but most people, the "average" citizens of the United States perpetuate "norms" without even taking time to decide whether those norms are actually functional and beneficial to society at large. By doing this they stand-up for values, and really stick behind them, without even using their own brains to decide if they even like them. This is what causes stagnation and lack of positive transformation.

Why aren't the youth taught how to critically analysis situations? Because then adults will lose their "power" over them. Which, if people are not taught how to examine or deconstruct then they'll go on believing FOX news, or the idea that feminists are the EVIL ones, or even that any other race other than their own is inferior (though most will have learned not to say it out loud).

So I'm wondering...can the general public, on a large scale, come to critically examine the space we live in, and with that examination find ways to improve upon it?

What would it take for a jackass misogynist who calls feminists' cunts because he can't handle his own manhood to learn that we're not out to cut off his dick?

We're actually here to help make the world a better place for everyone.

Obviously there is the fear of the unknown, the fear that their comfort zones will be rudely taken away, that they will no longer be given all the great luxuries in life--like the ability to walk down the sidewalk without a concern in the world.

So in the end, does it come down to all of us engaged citizens to just sort of ignore all the trash going on in "average" land and try to make changes on our own?

How do we get those who seem impossible, who seem downright stupid to open their minds?

Get Your Holiday Drink On With These Easy Cocktail Recipes.

I don't know about any of you, but I sure like to have a long-extended buzz over the holidays. Why not spice up the drinking with some of my favorite winter recipes.

Holly Jolly Hangover, Surprise!

1 part vodka (can be flavored)

1 part midori (melon liquor)

2 parts club soda, tonic water or a 7UP like beverage

splash of lime juice

garnish with maraschino cherries.

Put it in a regular glass over ice. Enjoy.

Apple-Jacked Cider

1 part dark rum

1 part cinnamon schnapps

3 parts apple cider

garnish with cinnamon stick or slice of apple

Can warm up the cider then add the liquor or pour it all over ice depending on your mood.

Pomegranpagne Celebrate!

1 Shot of pomegranate liquor

Pour into glass

Fill with Champagne

garnish with lemon twist (or just drink it quickly).

Let's Party Like We're Grandmas.

As I've gotten older I often wake up, hung-over, wondering why I did that again.

I mean seriously. Why did I do that again, knowing that I was going to feel like shit the entire day?

And another thing. Why do we go to bars?

I don't get it.

We go to the bar with a group of people, sit around with that group of people, only talk to that group of people, while judging all the other groups of people sitting around judging the other groups of people.

And for what? A future of bad hearing, debt, and liver cancer?

Wouldn't it make more sense for the group to just hang out at one of the members' houses? It's quiet. You can play the music you like, and generally it's cheaper (that is, if everyone BYOB's and doesn't mooch off of host's stock).

Also...it can be done earlier...so we can get to bed at a decent hour.

Old grannie, you call me?

Fine.

I like bingo.

I like Wheel of Fortune.

I like blue hair.

I like crocheted kleenex boxes. (not really).

I can't wait until I'm old and get to live in one of those community centers where we have weekend dances, where I won't have to leave the building to get my hair did or eat dinner.

I mean, I can wait. But I'm very excited for it. (yes I should probably just go live in a commune...whatever).

Anyway, I digress. Is it so wrong to want to be social and yet want to not waste the entire next day? I don't think so.

Control you suggest.

Well, even if I don't drink as much but we're still out until 3 a.m. — we're still out until 3 a.m. And I like to get a good 8 to ten hours of sleep.

But it's like some people can't seem to become fun until they think they're parents have gone to bed or something. I mean hello. They. Don't. Care. They were once almost just like you, and if they were just the opposite of you, why do you care, they sound like assholes?

Finally.

What's better than a good heated debate over cyborgs, or the art of being a hipster, or eating cheese? Or whatever weird topics people in circles seem to come up with while drinking. It's hard (though possible) to have these discussions in bars, but it's really easy to have them in someone's living room.

And if things get real steamy between certain people--a bedroom is only steps away. . .

Are We All Over-Stuffed?

A friend recently accomplished the 100 Things Challenge. The idea: to only possess that which is completely necessary for living. 100 Things (or less). Everything else must go.

A part of me is really intrigued by this minimalist approach, as it says in Fight Club, "the things you own end up owning you."

But my friend also doesn't have a bed.

And this is where we part ways.

Obviously his 100 things would be completely different from mine (if I actually took it up); a bed would be my #1 priority—as I enjoy sleeping—perhaps a bit too much.

It's an interesting choice; I entirely support anyone who can do it. In fact, it may be the closest thing to anti-capitialism that I can think of. And I love anything anti-capitalism.

But I also love dumpster diving.

Thrift Store shopping.

Garage Sale-ing.

There are very few things in my apartment that have been bought "new." And they are almost entirely electronics--do I need my t.v., I probably don't need it, but I really don't mind having it.

Could I walk away from my apartment full of stuff with no regrets?

When the four-mile fire was creeping nearer I truly evaluated what I would take with me if I could only fill my car.

1) My computer

2) my journals

3) photo albums

4) certain clothing items

But that's stuff that can't be replaced. Not stuff one needs to live.

I guess my greatest fear is getting rid of my stuff and it just piling up in a landfill somewhere. Is that any better really? I mean it may de-clutter my life, but it doesn't create any less clutter in the world. And if I give it to someone else, aren't I just allowing them to become more cluttered as well?

A better goal for me may be to donate useful items that aren't useful to me to people I know need them, and to just not buy any more shit. It may be a good goal for most people to start with...perhaps ease into 100 things.

Overall, I think this is the perfect time to evaluate what one has, what one needs and what one should let go of.

The holidays in the United States are sadly a time for celebrating over-consumption, from stuff to food, but it doesn't have to be.

We can jointly make it more about connection and community, which, in my opinion, should be what it's all about anyway.

Vegan Day 21-25

Day 21 Dec. 5

Breakfast: left-over vegan pizza

Lunch: baked potato with home made salsa, and broccoli with garlic and balsamic vinegar

Snacks: crackers, white beans, popcorn

Dinner: Salad Wrap

Day 22 Dec. 6

Breakfast: 0

Lunch: Hapa tofu bowl

Snacks: edamame

Dinner: sweet potato/red onion tart

Day 23 Dec. 7

Breakfast: toast

Lunch: teriyaki tofu bowl

Snacks: apple

Dinner: potatoes

Day 24 Dec. 8

Breakfast: oatmeal

Lunch: quinoa vege bean surprise

Snacks: apple, grapes, pineapple

Dinner: black bean burgers with homemade potato wedges

Day 25 Dec. 9

Breakfast: toast with peanut butter and pineapple

Lunch: garden burger and fries (Mountain Sun)

Snacks: apple

Dinner: salad with stuff in it

Thoughts: I'm beginning to lean more towards my friend's viewpoint of being a "non-strict" vegan as opposed to a "strict vegetarian." What that means is that I plan to make most meals vegan but if I occasionally have something with eggs in it or cheese or whatever I'm not going to cry myself to sleep.

This is also the case with products that contain animal-parts. I will make the gradual shift over into making sure most everything I have is animal-friendly, but again, I'm not going to beat myself up if my soap I bought 2 months ago has gelatin in it, why? Because I already bought it and I'm more about not being wasteful. In fact, I think my best diet would be that of a freegan. Mainly because I'd be saving money, I'd not be wasteful, and I could use my creativity to develop amazing meals out of weird findings. But, I'd also have to shop in dumpsters and have yet to gain the courage to sift through grocery stores' trash. (though I will do it some day, I swear).

Girls in Yoga Pants Smash the Patriarchy. Absurdity At its Finest.

So when I first started writing for elephant journal I was given an assignment to cover a website called girls in yoga pants. For some reason it's been incredibly popular, which is fine, except everyone who reads it has started attacking me personally, particularly my physical appearance.

Now, generally I have about a 80% comfort level with my body... I'm mostly confident, I workout, I eat decently, I comb my hair, I shower. Whatever. I don't really need the world to tell me I'm beautiful (though a few people here and there never hurts). What does hurt, though, is that people are perfectly okay with attacking other people instead of attacking the ideas. I'd at least find it tolerable if they just said my thoughts were wrong, or my idea was stupid, but saying that my boobs aren't tan enough and my posture is not straight enough, (basing this all on one picture) is absurd and pointless.

The point was that women who send in pictures of their asses are objectifying themselves. It's simple. When it's only your ass, and it's only for other people's sexual gratification, then your ass (hence you) are an object.

If we continue to argue about stupid meaningless things then we are just conforming to the oppressions that already bring us down.

Doesn't it seem strange that we gang up on each other instead of actually paying attention to the real issues?

My tan line is insignificant in the scheme of things. People outright choosing to degrade themselves and then calling it a personal choice, to me, are right in that it's a personal choice, but are wrong in that it is still degradation.

I'm sex positive, when the sex is positive. That is, when it's on an equal level and consensual (this can even include S&M etc. as long as everyone involved is doing it because it brings them pleasure).

But I don't think emailing pics off one's butt is positive. Because again, it's an objectification, and though some people may enjoy being objects, it's still not equal or consensual. As men again, are getting what they want at the price of women needing to be validated by them.

And when I write an article about girl in yoga pants being a problem of objectification it's pretty much complete bullshit to try to turn me into one.

It's an attempt to counteract the issue instead of admitting we have work to do.

It's letting the system tell people how to think (again and again) instead of using any critical analysis to deconstruct the situation and try to make it better.

It's defending the patriarchy. And in that defense oppression keeps chugging along, waving it's ugly head. Festering in the deep dark places of our psyche, telling us it's okay to argue about the insignificant things like the author's breasts, because she is wrong and Big Daddy is right. Always. Right.