Monday, September 26, 2011
Sometimes the Rock Just Disappears.
Earlier today I attempted to go on a hike. I rode my bike the 10ish blocks there and preceded up Mt. Sanitas--one of the rockier, longer trails near my place--the hiking pros claim it's "moderately strenuous." Basically because it's like a literal staircase the entire way.
I realized today that it's not always about getting to the top.
And that Mt. Sanitas is only moderately strenuous for regular people. I am not a regular person right now. I am actually a zombie.
The truth, I was trying to hike up it at the hottest time of the day with the sun beating down on me after realizing I hadn't really eaten anything all day, again.
I kept stopping in the shade to catch my breath because every few steps I'd get dizzy and feel like I was going to throw-up. Good times, I know.
But it was a good time. Because it allowed me to realize how we are all interconnected. That, we all exist in the universe for a reason and we all impact each other whether it's on a small scale or larger.
For example, while resting in the shade on an uncomfortable jagged rock I saw this dude running down the mountain. Running. In like 85+ degree heat. It was at the sight of him that I began an inner dialogue:
"Fuck that guy," I thought.
Then right away I realized how rude that was, it wasn't his fault he could run down the mountain and I couldn't even walk up it. So instead in my head I was like: "No, I take it back. Good for him. Good for him for being able to run down the mountain."
He ate it.
Yep, right in front of my eyes he was standing up and then he wasn't. And then he was.
I was like, OMGoddess, my bad thought caused him to fall! Which obviously isn't true--or is it?
I asked him if he was okay and he was like, "Yeah, the rock just disappeared."
And then I was relieved because it wasn't me at all, it was a magical rock. One that was there and then wasn't and had nothing to do with me. Or did it?
Maybe I caused the rock to be magical and disappear? Do people have that kind of power? Do I? It's highly unlikely.
But then, I was sitting there and this fly was buzzing around my head and I said, "go away, go away." Guess what? The fly went away. Yeah, and it didn't just happen once, when I moved to a different rock the same thing occurred again. Usually flies never listen to me, so maybe the Universe really knew that I didn't need a fly swarming around my head while I was trying to think.
Which was the entire point of going out into the wilderness anyway--to get some perspective--and that I did.
All in all, the adventure didn't really help clarify any immediate issues in my life but it did help reinforce the idea that it will all work out, as long as I believe it will.
And I should probably not think mean things about people cause they might come true...(and I don't want people thinking mean things about me!)