Friday, January 29, 2010

100 (or so) words on: Poop Commercials

Does anyone else think it’s strange the amount of anti-constipation commercials that have overwhelmed the television lately. If we’re not learning about all the fucked up bullshit politicians have been doing we’re learning how to clean out our colons, YAY!

I have a simple solution. Stop eating so much shit and you’ll be able to shit better. Seriously. I cannot believe all the new products that exist to clean people out. You know what’s clogging you up, processed food. Eat a flipping apple for crying out loud. Would it be so difficult to actually consume healthy produce instead of eating cardboard pizzas and fast food every day? Have a flipping orange. It has got to taste better than that “orange flavored” Metamucil powder people put in their water.

Another point, if you didn’t eat dairy to begin with you wouldn’t need that nasty yogurt to help smooth out your bowel movements. What it comes down to is simplicity. The more complicated your food gets, the more complicated your inner workings become. So, as someone once brilliantly said, “keep it simple stupid” the poop will come out freely and we can all stop watching those creepy commercials with the extra happy poop-free people in them.

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