Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Tap Into Your Inner Sexy Slut.

What does it take to be a slut?

And is it really so bad to enjoy sex?

Slutwalk has got me thinking about these questions.

gasbombgirl

I don’t believe men rape because they enjoy the sex, they rape because they enjoy the power; or need power because they feel powerless.

The slutwalk started after a police officer said to a group of women at Osgoode Hall Law School, Toronto:

"I've been told I'm not supposed to say this – however, women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimised."

Now I’ve met plenty of men who have met plenty of sluts and not raped them.

I’ve met plenty of slutty men who don’t get raped.

I’ve met plenty of raped women who didn’t dress like a slut.

I’ve met plenty of rapists who will rape no matter what.

I’ve met plenty of sluts who don’t dress like sluts.

The problem isn’t the clothes.

It’s the structure.

For one thing let’s take a look at the language.... “women should avoid ________ to avoid _______”

So whatever happens to a woman it’s because she caused it. She did not take the precautions to prevent _______________ from happening.

Let’s look at other language issues.

“She was raped.”

Never do I hear, “He raped her.” (or she raped him, or he raped him or whatever combination) it’s always something that happens to the person almost out of nowhere, as if the person was magically attacked by some unknown force (because the person asked for it).

Asking for it. Another wonderful addition to our discourse on this subject.

If a woman in a slutty outfit (or otherwise) was “asking for it” then she literally would have said, “yes, let’s have sex.” Her skirt cannot consent for her.

And speaking of asking for it, I’d like to talk a moment about sexual enjoyment and the art of being a slut.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying sex, being sexual, sensual, erotic, etc. Being touched, being loved by other people is important to our human wellbeing. I think many of us are brainwashed with puritanical conservative ideas on sexuality and it's frightening.

In a big way it reinforces rape because sex is often not about love or connection or physical enjoyment but about reinstating power dynamics. And again that's a structural problem based on issues surrounding the intersections of gender, race, class etc. I won't say I blame the patriarchy because I don't need to.

So what are we to do?

Slutwalk is amazing because it reinforces our human agency to be sluts, to be sexual in whatever way it means to us, and for our sexualities not to correlate with rape.

I think we should all tap into our inner sluts. Become more at peace with the fact that we are sexual and it's okay. There is no reason to fear love or loving someone else. I'd like to think that if we all were more loving, not necessarily sexual, but compassionate, sincere, thoughtful, the rape culture would cease to exist or become so outlandish and awful that those who did it would be put in reprograming workshops until they learned the values of love, honesty, and reciprocation etc. I hope this is not wishful idealism.

(IDK: a discussion on this would be nice since I'm sure these ideas could be developed further, expanded, dissected, reconstructed etc.)

Sex positive. Rape negative.

For a sex positive movie check out Shortbus.

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