Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Be Careful of that Old Lady in the Bar

On Rachel Ray yesterday an older woman dating expert was on. She gave tips to older women to help them learn how to flirt, as she said, "turn themselves on." The major trick of the trade, what women can really do that works better than, I don't know, just going up and talking to a guy, is to go commando. That's right. Her advice for older women was to take off their panties and get revved up. To realize what they're working with, to really feel what they're bodies want.

Now. I would like to bring back an old blog post. One that regarded Whoopie Goldberg and Poise Pads together in a commercial. A commercial that stated 1 out of 3 women spritz their panties.

Six old women go to a bar panty-less trying to get "turned on," trying to flirt, and trying to be sensual. Two of those women are going to spritz right on the floor. And can I just say, that will not turn anyone on except maybe a dog or some creep who enjoys golden showers.

Thank you Rachel Ray for having another "expert" on your show who gives terribly creepy advice. I can't wait until the day someone pays me to keep it real, and "crystal clear". I can guarantee that I will never tell an old woman to take off her panties.

Which makes me wonder what the advice will be like when I'm an older woman. Granted I hope I don't ever have to go "play the field" again, but can't we just keep it simple. The best way to get to know someone is to, guess what, talk to them. And yes, you may need confidence for that but you're not going to get it by removing your spanx.

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