Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Top 5 Reasons for Reclusion.

Lately I've been thinking about going into hiding. I am really curious if I could become a full-time recluse with government funding...I mean it is considered a mental disorder right? Surely my want to not be around people would grant a monthly paycheck.

It would be for the good of "man" kind. Maybe.

Here are Five Reasons Why I Should be a Recluse:

1) Weather
Winter is nearing it's ugly gray cold face and well, I don't really want to deal with it. And by the time winter is over, blooming flowers and chirping birds will more than likely get on my nerves. Never mind the hot heat of summer and all the beautiful people walking around almost naked, I don't want that shoved down my throat again.

2) My Blood Pressure
It's high. Like really high. And I'd like to blame it on bad drivers and stupid people. If I didn't leave the apartment then I wouldn't be on the road or around any dumb-asses and my stress level would be low, very low.

3) Friends
I, like, totally, for sure, don't have a BFF here, so there's like no ones hair to french braid and like no one to read Vogue with. Ah! Bummer.

4) The Book
Yeah, I'm supposed to start writing one of those and what better way then to do it the Emily Dickinson/J.D. Salinger way?

5) Ease
I've decided I'm terrible at conversing with people. I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I may have hit a dead end road in the world of topics I care to discuss. It's no one's fault but my own. And to save everyone else from being around me. I think I'll just hide for awhile.

Now I just have to find a grocery store (and liquor store) that delivers. Shouldn't be too difficult.

No comments:

Post a Comment