I'm Not Totally Bitter, Here's What I'm Thankful For:

Many years ago, while attending what could be considered my worst Thanksgiving dinner (yet) at a former boyfriend's family's place, after I had "cut" the cranberry sauce incorrectly, and then hung out with the guys instead of helping the "women" in the kitchen (after doing everything wrong why would I stick around?), we were all forced to go around the table and say what we were thankful for. Again I gave an epic fail answer when I said, "tulips and ice cream."

What the f is wrong with tulips and ice cream? Was I supposed to say "I'm thankful for a boyfriend who has such a judgmental family?"

Anyhoo. I don't think that boyfriend and I spent another thanksgiving together (and if we did it wasn't with his family).

So here's my list bitches. And if it's not good enough for you, well then, perhaps you should ask WWJD and go walk on water.

I'm thankful for:

popcorn

tortilla chips

digital cameras

my mac

yoga

P90X

records

record players

netflix

netflix streaming

a tv to watch netflix on

books

cookbooks

cooking

forks

spoons

knives

bowls

plates

cups

rum

vodka

club soda

limes

orange juice

ice

drinking

an indoor bathroom

plungers (what did people do before plungers?)

a nice comfortable bed

blankets

pillows

snow

sun

plants

trees

fall leaves

cilantro

salt

pepper

cumin

strings for guitars

Garage Band

good music at just the right time

jumping pictures

facebook

elephant journal

jezebel

oh ok, this blog too

writing in general

writing specifically

Feminists

Margaret Sanger

birth control (though more people should consider using it)

Gloria Anzaldua

bell hooks

Judith Butler

queer theory

playing with gender

androgyny

cyborgs

cyborg feminism

Donna Harraway

painters

painting

art

art that doesn't piss me off (good luck)

Jake Gyllenhaal

Almost being able to spell his last name correctly after having a crush on him for 8 years

Maggie Gyllenhaal

James Franco

having crushes

making out

Ryan for putting up with me

new Boulder friends

old awesome friends

family (even the weird ones and the ones in jail)

f-ing tulips and ice cream (now vegan ice cream)

Now I doubt anyone would actually want me to say all of that at the dinner table.