Monday, September 14, 2009

The Art of Apparel

Has anyone actually stepped into American Apparel? It looks like the Jane Fonda Workout threw up all over the place. My God. Did people forget that scrunchies aren’t actually cool? And they don’t make you look clever or funny when you wear them, actually they make you look silly and make it seem as if you are attempting to be hipper than you probably are. Even when you put them with your matching fanny pack—which I agree with my friend Jess that the fanny pack would come in handy while dancing at a bar or concert or whatever--but if you’re putting it with all the other 80’s Fonda-wear--it’s a little hard to handle.

I know, I know, the clothes are made in America and are “sweatshop free” blah blah, but you would think that someone from America would have a bit more creativity and be able to muster up something new in fashion instead of retreating back into decades that already experienced several fashion disasters—shoulder pads as an example--probably the most unflattering and ridiculous looking item of clothing. But still, expect American Apparel to return the shoulder pad to the American public with a strong utter vengeance that makes women everywhere start perming and feathering their hair to make their heads look bigger than their now monstrous shoulders.

Don’t expect me to be purchasing them, I already look like a line-backer thanks to my fabulous strong-armed mother.

But seriously… what the fuck is up with fashion? I am at a loss. I can’t pull off the tuck-in shirt pulled=up skirt look. Those weird scarf wrapping handkerchief neck ties also make me look like an idiot. And leotards and body suits? AHHHH!

The world is coming to an end.

And I blame the hair scrunchie.

1 comment:

  1. LOVE THIS! Scrunchies should be left where they the 80s.

    Also, American Apparel may have products made in the U.S. but they are about as sexist as it gets, which just makes their promotion of shitty clothing for women all the more disgusting.