As many of you loyal readers already know, I have a very strong lack of desire to have babies. Much of it stems from an irrational fear of the physical act itself--though I am aware that women everywhere have been doing it forever. Still the thought of something so large and so alive coming out of my body really freaks me out.
But I realized the other night that it's more than the physical. The underlying reason is that I don't want to be solely responsible for the upbringing of another human being; even if the father was around and there were two of us--that's not enough. The only way I'd EVER consider pushing one out is if I lived in an close-knit strong loving community of like-minded folks who worked collectively on the development of all people--children and adults--living in the space.
Our current society is constructed around the individual family unit and I do not feel that sort-of boxed in lifestyle is conducive to who I am and who I want to be.
The stereotypical "commune" is not what I'm looking for. Honestly, I think very few people of our generation are looking for that--but it's closer in model than what we have now.
For one thing, there has to be some sort of merging of the environmental necessities--being connected to the earth and each other physically, you know gardening, taking walks, having face to face conversations, touching each other (this does not have to be a sexual thing, though that would obviously happen)--with technological advancements--connecting us to others globally via the internet etc. with space and time to create/play/party juxtaposed with maintenance and labor of the community itself.
If that could happen, then and only then would I consider reproducing. Technically though, if other people in the community are doing it then I wouldn't have to bother because I could help with their upbringing without physically going through the stresses of pregnancy.
I'd like to point out that after talking with a friend last night about this community concept (not in detail) it has become an even more far-fetched idea. It doesn't work to run-away in some sort of escapism/avoidance tacit just for personal well-being; we're all connected to what's happening to our earth. So, as an example, he elucidated, if toxins are being dumped into the water supply those toxins will flow eventually into "happy time community-ville" and we'd all die of cancer/weird diseases too--along with everyone else.
I don't know, maybe there is some sort of compromise that could be made--like the community isn't actually escaping just banding together for the "greater good" and living a lifestyle they envision everyone leading eventually, yet at the same time working to end the atrocities that are happening every day on this earth.
Yes!?! Who's with me?
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