Can Jake Daniels Save My Soul?

On a Quest to find my (spirit)uality.

For the next 30 days I will imbibe as many spirits as I can in search of the true meaning of life.

Surly it's at the bottom of one of these bottles. Why else would they be called "spirits"?

I will also watch the X-Files as it's full of spirit-like searches--though of a different kind.

I think this quest is going to be expensive and exhausting, but life-altering...or perhaps just liver-altering.

Maybe I'll get mini-bottles for mini-spiritual awakenings.

Or maybe I'll just focus on one spirit a week.

During week 1 perhaps I'll find what I'm looking for in the SKYY. If not I'll spend a week with Jack Daniels and if he can't teach me anything I'll move on to Jose Cuervo, though if I add enough sugar and lime it turns into Margarita (what a drag queen drink). If my spirits still haven't risen after three weeks I'll take a week long trip with Bombay. If by the end of the month my (spirit)uality hasn't altered, then I'm just going to say F it, call the Captain over and I'll drown my sorrows in rum.