Tuesday, February 15, 2011

ATTENTION HIPSTERS: Major Recall!!!

Item #: 0004731

Product Name: Your Girlfriend’s Skinny Jeans

Return IMMEDIETLY!

After a five-year case study of 100 male hipsters it has been concluded that 87% have seen a drastic decrease in the size of their penis. We believe this to be the cause of restrictive skinny jeans. Please be advised!

Recent hospitalizations have occurred due to shrinking of the penis and lack of circulation in the upper thighs. In some cases the jeans have had to be surgically removed. Please take precaution.

These pants may be stylish but borrower beware they are dangerous to your health.

(Plus your girlfriend wants her pants back.)

2 comments:

  1. Did Ryan steal your pants again?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha! No, now he's buying pants I can't even fit into!

    ReplyDelete