Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Trivial Concerns.

Today, I, for some reason, got this really big urge to watch all the movies I have already seen and to read all the books that are already sitting on my shelf. I guess I’m riding nostalgia. I know that I like them and I want something I like. It could be the cold cold weather and me just wanting things that are comfortable. Like my warm gray pants and thick thick sweaters and blankets galore.

Speaking of blankets. It’s probably a good thing I don’t own a snuggie because I think I’d wear it around instead of real clothes. I mean, what better way to be comfortable than to just have on a blanket. Keep warm but stay loose.

Now this is not a hint that I want a snuggie because I do not. Well, I might, but Ryan would immediately destroy it so there is really no point.

I think another reason I had this strange urge to re-watch/re-read everything is because I feel like I can’t keep it all in. Like I keep forgetting…or maybe it wasn’t really ever there to begin with. Once I started reading a book that I had already read before and I didn’t realize it until like the third chapter. I think sometimes I rush, especially when I’m reading because I not only want to know what happens but I have this strange obsession with numbers and finishing things. Example: when I’m on the treadmill I have to have even numbers before I can quit…like I can’t quit on 1.7 miles…I have to do 2 miles. Or I can’t end on 227 calories burned, it has to be like 250. And this continues on the treadmill until I get so tired that I am forced to pick between the miles or the calories being even and being done with it.

Needless to say, I don’t often run on treadmills because of this.

But back to this brain issue.

It never really was an issue until recently. Until trivia at the bar—and I realized my mind doesn’t work in basic facts. I can’t name drop people or places or things. I am not a nouner.

Nouners: people who drop nouns like they’re hot (the nouns and also themselves).

Then I realized, I suck at crossword puzzles and when Jeopardy is on, I only get like 1/3 of the questions. I have really begun to question my intellectual capacity. Where are all the facts? Is it just that the facts I know are different from the facts being asked on a regular basis? Yes. I can get the feminist questions because they’re generic…but put me in a feminist-only quiz bowl game and I would get my ass handed to me.

Quiz bowl. That was another thing. I thought it would be fun in high school to try out the quiz bowl team. I sucked. Luckily there were those Big Bang Theory-like dudes on my team who answered like every single question—sometimes before the questions were even done being asked. I generally just sat there and distracted the other Big Bang Theory-like dudes by staring at them (as I don’t think many girls had ever looked at them before).

So, I’ve decided I’m going to work on filling up my brain with more facts. When a movie comes out I’ll remember the director’s name. When I read a book I’ll memorize every f’in line. When a war begins or a war ends I’ll remember those dates. When a pop song comes on the air I’ll know who it’s by. I will eventually become the most badass trivia player of all time. I’ll go on Jeopardy or Who Wants to be a Millionaire and I’ll rake it in.

Make room brain. There is a lot of information coming your way. Super Human Computer.

Now that's a cyborg, Miss. Donna Haraway.

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