Saturday, May 15, 2010

I went, I saw, I conquered: The Cubs

Yes, kids. It's true. You can see it in my eyes. I made it there, I watched the game, I stayed calm and no one got hurt. There was only one asshole around the whole time, he made some comment about a cubs player needing to "go back to Cuba" even though that player was born and raised in Louisiana, it was amazing. There was also some badass crazy sellers, like the intensely insane "LEMON GEL, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD" yeller. I almost peed my pants because of him.

The beer was too expensive, but I drank it anyway, hence why I almost peed my pants.

And I actually paid attention to what was going on on the field, for the most part.

Most people know I'm not too much into sports. And most people know that I, in particular, think that most cubs fans are complete and total morons. Just an example, the other day on the train, a little old lady got on at Belmont after the train had gotten bombarded with cubs fans. They just stood there and didn't even move to let her through. Then the people sitting just sat there and looked at her. I told her she could sit where I am, but then the stupid ass cubs fans won't even budge an itch to let me get up. It was unbelievable. So, eventually she gets seated and I get up, but I don't have any footing because the assholes won't let me stand anywhere, I am falling all over the place, flailing about like a half-dead fish, I end up stepping on the old ladies foot, I end up half landing on her. Thus her attempt at getting seated so she doesn't get hurt was futile. I wanted to punch them all the face. I then try to get off the train at the next stop, and the fuck faces won't even let me out the door. I had to push them out of my way.

That is why I do not like cubs fans. But that doesn't mean I hate drinking beer outside. So I went to the game because I got super cheap tickets and I checked it out. I'm glad to have seen the inside of the stadium, to have experienced all the wonderment of men running around in a field. I can check it off my Chicago to do list and move on to other excursions. For example, tomorrow we're probably going to check out the bahai temple. I'll get my spirituality on! Word up.

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