Karma is for REAL!!!!!!

So, this Karma thing must be some serious shit. Oh, yeah, I told myself I'd stop cussing so much.

So, this karma thing must be some serious poo balls. Why? Well here's why.

The other day, someone commented on a blog post of mine, basically saying that I need to focus on my "own problems" and then I, of course, said something snarky out loud, which was, "I would except I don't have problems, that's why I make fun of other people."

Then my grandma calls and tell me about her car being possessed. She said how she was out getting groceries and her car horn kept going off, like a demon car or something. She got behind people at stop signs and her car horn kept honking and honking. And of course I laughed, as it seemed like a scene straight out of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Which made me want to write a tv show. Though that would be like the only situation I'd have to go on.

So here's where the karma comes in. Make fun of my life being "problem-free" + make fun of grandma's car = problem with car.

DANG!

So yeah, my car ended up having a lot of car sex with my friend Dan's car. I was beginning to think it was addicted to his battery power (which I suppose was true). But now, after taking the car to rehab it should be fixed.

And now I will only do nice things and say nice positive comments about life so as to keep my life problem-free for real.

Ha! (I doubt that's even possible even for the most positive of people, they just don't take it as seriously).

Why Yes I'm Wearing Underwear, Thank You For Your Concern.

So at the bar Saturday night, this drunk guy wearing a holiday snowflakes sweater, was all alone playing a game of pool by himself. Somehow, later, he ended up talking to me and though I thought he was mentally retarded I played nice....Until he asked me, "Are you wearing any underwear?"

And this is where a drinking buddy comes in handy. Because my drinking buddy could have encouraged me to punch him in the face, because I really wanted to. But, no, instead I just tore him a new asshole, which may have hurt more than my punching abilities would have (I have practiced taebo for many years, so the double-time to the forehead could have been a killer, but that's a major "could have been"). But seriously.

This is the problem with breeder bars.

This is why boystown was the only place I drank in Chicago, because gay men don't ask if women are wearing underwear or not.

I seriously don't know how that holiday sweater dude made it out of the bar in one piece.

I'm still just really curious as to why it matters to dudes whether or not a woman has on underwear. I mean, I was wearing jeans so even if I didn't it's not like he could have gotten a "sneak peak" and even if I weren't it's not like I would have shown him anything anyway.

Why do some men think they're privileged enough to have their porn fantasies come to life? It's like those assholes who catcall women on the street, what woman has ever stopped and fucked one of those guys?

What did that dude think was going to happen? That I'd say, "oh big boy, you're so sexy, of course I'm not wearing underwear, hot girls never wear underwear, don't you know that? tee hee tee hee, want to see? Follow me to the bathroom and I'll fuck your stupid-retard brain out, tee hee."

Ugh.

And people think we're "post-feminism." Sorry but the constant objectification of women proves that a post-feminist world is still far far away.

(to clarify, it doesn't make it "equality" to objectify men either, it just makes more bullshit drama.)

Vegan Day 12-20

Day 12 Nov. 26^th

breakfast/dinner: left overs

lunch= I failed and had a slice of pizza (such is life)

Day 13 Nov. 27^th

breakfast/lunch: left-overs

Dinner: tofu scramble from Turleys

Day 14 Nov. 28^th

more thanksgiving leftovers for lunch and dinner (there were a lot)

Day 15 Nov. 29^th

Lunch: chic’n salad wrap with edamame

snacks: apple

dinner: salad with vegetable strudel and fruit bowl (pineapple, black berries grapes)

Day 16 Nov. 30^th

skipped food and had a coffee breakfast (slick)

Lunch Happa vege roll + vege dumplings

snacks: apple

Dinner: quinoa bean burrito

Day 17 Dec. 1st

breakfast: toast

Lunch: quinoa bean burrito

snack: grapes, edamame,

Dinner: sweet potato and red onion tart

Day 18 Dec. 2

Breakfast: quinoa bean burrito

Lunch: edamame, chic'n sandwich

Snacks: apple

Dinner: chili and tortilla chips

Day 19 Dec. 3

Breakfast: cereal

Lunch: baked potato and broccoli drizzled with balsamic vinegar and sprinkled with sunflower seeds

Snacks: P.B. and whole wheat crackers

Dinner: Vegan Pizza from Sun Delis

Day 20 Dec 4

Breakfast: left-0ver pizza

lunch: left-over vege strudel

snacks: grapes, orange

dinner: Vegan Meetup Potluck food (I made quinoa dish and caramelized onion breadsticks.)

Thoughts: So I've slipped up once or twice. Once being a slice of pizza and twice being eating candy without really paying attention. It's seems slightly difficult when company is present, not when I'm cooking, but when we're out at a restaurant, especially once which I'd have to get a whole pizza catered to me (which I could have done but felt uncomfortable). Plus some people just don't get it, and I already have so many battles to fight: capitalism, the patriarchy, assholes. I'm just adding to my list, which is becoming really long. I'm cool with not being mainstream, but what comes with anti-conformity is what I call difficulty. And by difficulty I mean constantly arguing and defending myself (which is the whole point in getting other people to change etc.) but it's hard work. As they say, "it's about progress not perfection."

Angry Music for Angry People.

Sometimes it's good to let all that anger out. And why not do it while jamming out to some angry music!

Here are my Top Picks.

For a Bitter Angry:

Try Fiona Apple

For: A F U to the World:

Try Slipknot

For an Angry Feminist Rant at the Patriarchy:

Try Bikini Kill

For an Angry Dance Rage:

Try Static X

For Cynical and Constant Anger:

Try Sleater-Kinney

To Overcome Anger:

Try singing Salt 'N Pepa

How to Be a Slut in 3 Easy Steps.

I was reading this Jezebel article about sluttiness and according to a recent study being slutty could just be part of certain people's DNA.

The claim was that people with the dopamine variant DRD4 have higher "thrill-seeking" motivations. In other words, it feels really good for them to take big risks.

Now, I don't really know about the accuracy of this study (they only had 181 participates) but I do know people who are sluttier than others and I don't know if it really has to do with DNA or if it's more of a cultural/social response.

What does it really mean to be a slut anyway?

Can being slutty ever be a good thing?

I'd like to think that there is a time and a place for sluttiness. And whether or not a person is walking around with the DRD4 variant, those seeking pleasure (safely and respectfully) shouldn't be punished or shamed.

Never Been a Slut?

Here are 3 Easy Steps.

1) Find a partner (or two or three...)

2) Have some sort of sexual exploration with partner/s (safely)

3) Thank the partner/s for a wonderful time (if it was wonderful), leave, go home, shower, and enjoy the rest of your day.

Voila'!

"What's Your Deepest Darkest Secret?"

I remember in my youth having "sleep-overs" with my BFF and we'd talk all night long about anything and everything.

I remember slumber parties with handfuls of girls, chatting, laughing, playing games. But the biggest game of the night was always a question:

"What's Your Deepest Darkest Secret?"

And we'd all have one, even though we were all like 11, 12, 13. The secrets were rarely very deep nor very dark, but they were ours to share with each other.

I think that the curiosity to discover other people's lives decreases with age.

Or maybe we want to discover, but now that we're older just coming out and asking what someone's secrets are can lead to very dangerous territory--either because you'd have to find them help or it would be TMI (aka some weird STD or fetish or clown obsession etc).

Sometimes when I chat with people I feel blind-sighted. They ask me a question, a simple question and I can't think of any type of intellectual response. Or even a dumb response. I just sort of mumble something, then, later when I lay in bed late at night I come up with a Larry David line or a Janeane Garofalo response and I think, damn, I should really become a comedian, if only I could reply faster, quicker, easier than I do in public.

But maybe there's something to the art of conversation. It's difficult with facebook. You can know what "friends" likes without ever asking them. Friends update their problems or happinesses before even anyone even sees them in "live" format. So coming up with things to talk about becomes an exercise in creativity.

And because I love a good conversation (and a good slumber party, hint hint), I've come up with ten questions to spark more intriguing dialogue if you are like me and ever get stuck (or bored).

1) Have you ever been in a fight, (a physical fight)?

2) Where’s the weirdest place you’ve done it?

3) If you could be any feminist which feminist would you be and why?

4) If Mother Teresa and Jesus were in a mud wrestling competition who do you think would win and why?

5) If you could do it all over again (and you couldn't pick going into the current field you’re in) what would you pick instead and why?

6) Who is your favorite philosopher and why?

7) Who is your favorite feminist and why? or If you were a riot grrrl song, what would you be?

8) If you were magically transformed into a alcoholic beverage, what would you be and why?

9) If you could pick anywhere in the world to live, where would you choose and why?

And if by this time the person seems, not so crazy, then hit'em with the big one:

10) What’s your deepest darkest secret?

Want to know mine?

Music Throwback Nostalgia? No Thank You.

I woke up with Wonderwall stuck in my head. I even started singing it in the bathroom. And I was like wtf?

I remember hearing it like two weeks ago at a bar, which really got me thinking.

I suppose it's obvious that bars are now playing the music that matches our age demographic, that which we listened to in our "nostalgic" years.

But could we just not?

These songs are depressing. Most of the songs that were popular (and close to decent), when we were say freshman in high school, are total downers. I mean, Hello Alanis! It was a real downy time and I really don't want to go back there. Especially when I'm drinking (it being a depressant and everything).

Yes, I know, you're thinking, what about the Spice Girls? What about the Backstreet Boys? Britney? N'Sync? Christina? Hansen?!?

Can we just sort of keep them all locked in that bubble in time? Can they only play back in our memories and not actually while we're making new ones?

Just saying.