Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Krystal Clear Advice: Sex Toys

If you were a sex toy, what would you be and why?

This is quite an intriguing question, but first I think we need to go over what sort of sex toys are available for me to be, if I were magically turned into one. My first reaction was to become the sex toy I use most often, which is a vibrator. My favorite vibrator of all time, was (and I am using it in past tense for a reason) the very first vibrator I ever received. It was blue and sparkly. It was hard plastic—the kind they say you shouldn’t buy. It was cheap, but it did the job. It did the job quite well, actually. That blue sparkly vibrator made it through almost five years of hard work. I do miss it. For the past few months I’ve been having a go with something called the bullet, not the magic bullet—that was copyrighted by a company who blends fruit drinks. The bullet is attached to a motor. I don’t like this. It’s too much for my hands to do. I have to hold the bullet in place with one hand and change the speed with the other. So, I generally stick with human interaction now, which most people would argue is better anyhow. But what other sex toys are out there that I do not actually own. At first I thought—maybe I’d be a butt plug, I mean I can easily be a pain in the ass for some people, but then that’s too cliché. Maybe handcuffs? I could be both dominating and submissive at the same time—hhmmm? I would never be a dildo because frankly, that’s too boring. And I would never be a sleeve because I am more than just some thing a dick goes in. Honestly, ff I had to pick one thing, I’d pick a book full of erotica, because the way to get off starts with the mind. I would want to be the initiator of desire, not just the tool to get the job done.

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