Friday, July 15, 2011

Boulder, Take it Off (And Leave of Off?)

When I look out my window and see all the hot sweaty people run by--I agree with GQ-- Boulder people would look better naked.
Boulder barely made the list as part of the worst dress cities--I'm guessing because Boulder isn't much of a city--no offense, but coming from Chicago where it took me an hour to get from the south to the north side and here where it takes me ten minutes; I'd say not quite a city. Plus the fact that I recognize someone every single time I go out anywhere, the store, the coffee shop, the sidewalk, not to the mention the bartenders know my name (which may say something more about me) And I've only been here a year.

But yeah, I agree with GQ. This city has not fashion sense. It's fashion practicality--cargo pants, spandex, those sun hats with the middle part missing (what's up with those old ladies?) or hipsters trying to be too ironic in their 1993 Blossom attire.
Those people may look better naked.

However, the other day I was staring out the window because I kept hearing this black guy screaming down the sidewalk--turns out it wasn't a black guy--it was a juggalo, and not just one juggalo but four juggalos. Three men and one woman. All with limp mohawks, the rest of their heads shaved to the skin, and baggie, very baggie clothes. Juggalos are white people who worship the band Insane Clown Posse; they have created their own style, their own language, and their own rules. They're basically like a white-trash gang. They need each other so collectively there is at least one barely working brain.
I have to admit juggalos may be the scariest creatures on the planet. And the fact that the exist in Boulder somehow just reinforces the GQ Top 40 list.

Not to mention the hippies, the yuppies, and the old men who wear socks up to their ankles.

And finally, if that wasn't enough-- right in the heart of downtown Boulder their is a Crocs store. That's right. The company who put millions of Americans in rubber clogs.

(You'd think that would be enough to make us #1)

1 comment:

  1. "They need each other so collectively there is at least one barely working brain." - LOVE it! :-D