Thursday, October 7, 2010

Here I Rant Again.

I’m tired of being rejected: by jobs, by people, by life. I’m turning nihilistic and I’m going to enjoy the nothingness of my discontent. All of this living is just exhausting. I don’t know what I’m doing—or whatever I’m doing I am obviously doing it wrong—hence the overabundance of rejection.

And I’m just narcissistic enough to say that certain jackass people should just disappear off the planet so I can have more breathing room.

See the split there. I’m pissed off at people—as a general whole—for causing me to be pissed off at myself for not fitting into their little stupid-ass structure.

Nonconformity is quite a lot of work. And where does it get me. Bankrupt. Depressed. Angry. All because I don’t want to be like everyone else. What a bunch of bullshit.

Me on this little tiny planet. Me as this little tiny speciwomen on earth. A minuscule of nothing. A speck of dust. Who was told since birth she could change the entire world—ha! Does anyone else see the major reconstruction we’d have to do to make even a slight improvement? It’s just debilitating. I’m totally drained.

Sometimes we just need days to give up.

Today I am giving up. Perhaps it will cause a rebirth of passion for transformation.

Perhaps I will just become a hater.

But as Phil Collin’s says, I Don’t Care Anymore.

Bring on the rejections, I’ll just go live in a cave, brew my own beer, be buzzed all day and play music with rocks and sticks.

*side note: I feel nothing for Phil Collins I only agree with his words.

1 comment:

  1. okay, fine. Maybe give up today, like for the rest of the night but not for good. We have our good days and our bad days, sometimes more bad than good. BUT, that doesn't mean we should drop our shit and call it quits...on whatever. Don't be pissed off at yourself--I think you are amazing, inspirational and though in the larger scheme of things, or maybe just right now you don't give a fuck, I don't care, I do, and I just wanted to remind you that you are fucking badass, and I cannot say that about a lot of people. And if anything, you can always have that at the end of the day.