Monday, September 20, 2010

When Your Online Article Gets Murdered: The Five Stages of Grief.

Anyone who has ever written for an online site, be it a blog or what have you, can understand the feelings of joy and acceptance when other people agree with and/or love your ideas. But many of us have been victims to online murdering—people who take no shame in completely tearing the author apart.

It is as if people online do not think what they say or do will affect anyone in real life. Now I admit, that I can’t win them all. Some of my articles are not going to be as good as other ones. Sometimes I will make mistakes. But I don’t think anyone deserves to be verbally assaulted. There should exist some sort of online etiquette—perhaps—just a question people should ask themselves before posting comments: “would I say this to her (him) in person?” And if you wouldn’t then you shouldn’t do it virtually either.

All that being said, I realized the other day, that when I do make mistakes, or my article perhaps isn’t as well thought out as it should be I will get attacked. My article will get murdered and in the process I personally will be affected by this sort-of online stoning.

And it is almost identical to the five stages of grief.

1) Denial. No one would really say that.

2) Anger. WTF. They really did say that. What a bunch of f-ing assholes.

3) Bargaining. Maybe if I explain myself they’ll understand my POV.

4) Depression. And no, they didn’t understand my POV so F-them. Nothing matters. I give up.

5) Acceptance. Well. It’s an online community so I’m sure they’re attacking someone else by now and have forgotten all about their previous murderings, so I will move on too.

In the end, I know that I am going to have to develop a thicker skin. Which I am afraid will turn me into an asshole—as anyone who survives in the world of online monsters for very many years must have to be.

But, I’m sure if I continually check myself I will be able to live harmoniously; I am aware I need to get over what other people are saying; I need to just “be”. But, at the same time, it would be ridiculous of me to pretend they are not, in some shape or form, making an impact on my life—whether I want them to or not.

I'm just glad I was able to find a parallel to the emotional responses that were happening within me, for future reference I will at least be better prepared.

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