Don't Have Any Fun on my Watch.

I have to admit I'm a bit sad today.

Last night I put on the PrideFest After Party and it would have been really nice to see more familiar faces.

Of course I met a lot of new awesome folks--but I could have really used the support. I guess I'm just having a hard time understanding why it's so difficult for people to show up to stuff.

I think I might have like a masochistic personality or something. I put on events all the time and every time people act really excited about it prior and then...nothing.... and the worst part for me is that I KEEP DOING IT. I don't get it.

It's a lot of stress, a lot of energy, a lot of time. And then I get disappointed.

Again, I am really grateful for everyone who did come out and especially grateful for all the help I got--particularly from Ryan who ran Sound all night, amongst other things.

I guess I'm just trying to figure out if I should bother with it anymore. Not just the organizing of my own events but the attending of other events as well. It's like a real immature mental reaction--they don't come to mine, I don't go to theres'. It's lame.

Bitter. Would be a good word. But I don't want to be bitter. I just want everyone I know to come out and have a fun time.

What's wrong with me?

I woke up with three new bruises, one new bleeding cut, covered in glitter, hungry, with a headache and other people don't want that... why?

I May Be Your Desire But I am Not Your Object.

Yesterday I was out on Pearl Street.

Yes. I was wearing a lower-cut shirt.

Yes. I was even wearing a skirt.

And okay, I was bending over to tape one of my After Party posters on a pole.

But I don't think it's okay for some random old man to take my picture. Which he did.

Then he proceeded to go around to the other side of the pole to take a picture from another angle, cuz I cause the cleavage shot wasn't enough for him. Of course, I stood up and hide behind the pole so he couldn't do it.

But I should not have had to do that at all!

I don't think I'd even be comfortable with a close friend taking that picture. Though if it was a close friend, they wouldn't. Because they wouldn't need to and they'd know it would make me uncomfortable. (I would hope anyway.)

Plus. Isn't it just weird?

Why did that guy think he could do that? I mean, it's obvious if he had asked I would have said no. But if he knew the answer would be no, then, well, maybe he should have known not to do it at all.

A-hole.

I am not some masturbatory object to add to your fetish image collection of young women putting up posters (or whatever you're into.)

Ugh.

Music Monday: Who You Dancin With?

OMGodess. I think I may be in love with this song. But it could be because I am often dancing on my own (except for the other night when I was dancing with many people). But anyway. Even though it's pop it still feels raw, like she really means it. Which, is kind of sad, but I think we've all been there, right? Right?

Why Won't These Songs Go Away, Naturally?

There is a mashup of 4 relatively bad songs stuck in my head. Mmmbop (Hanson), My Lovin (En Vogue), Tale as Old as Time (Beauty and the Beast soundtrack) and some country love song that I don't know the name or artist to. They keep like smashing into each other in my brain--which could be a sign that it is near explosion.

I believe scientists should invent a remedy to cure song-stuck. I'm surprised pharmaceutical companies are not all over it.

If this movie isn't about gender roles I want to know what is, gross. I don't even understand how this song--out of all the songs in the world--ended up in my brain. The other ones make sense, as there is a karaoke connection, but this one? WTF.

9 Random Thoughts: Hoops, 90's Women's Power, and more.

Even more random thoughts (because I've been randomly thinking lately)

1) Hula-hooping is hard. It's also hard to spell. Personally I would have given it two oo's but I guess the u will do. I didn't realize until I was doing it and it was falling to the ground over and over that you're actually supposed to move front to back, not swirl your hips like a hooker on a bad date. But I'm pretty sure the hula-hooping helped me not be so hungover today. Funny how that works.

2) A friend is sleeping on our couch. I can hear him snore and I'm like 4 rooms away. I would hate to be his g/f, put a sock in it or something.

3) I hit my knuckle on the bottom of a pool. It hurts really bad. I don't get why this tiny cut hurts so bad. It probably has weird bacteria floating around in from the hot tube I was sitting in later that night.

4) I'm pretty sure Ryan just came into this room to fart. Cuz now he's not in the room anymore and it smells like a skunky dirty diaper. That was incredibly rude. And now everyone else knows about it, what revenge, yes.

5) En Vogue. What happened to them? Actually what happened to all the 90's women-power bands? It's like all these amazingly strong songs about equality and awesomeness came out, then it didn't change the world like they thought and now we just have Lady Gaga babbling about being a freak. Woopty doo. (Or it was just a marketing campaign during the GIRL Power era idk I was like 8.)

6) It's still hot out. Is it hot where you are? I mean, like I could use a fan in here.

7) You have the right to loose control. According to En Vogue. You also ain't ever gonna get it. Wow. This is a lame thought.

8) I'd like to give Boulder citizens a lesson in driving/parking. Like a refresher course. If I were a cop I'd pull over the a-holes that never use their blinkers and the people who park in parking lots half-assed. But. That's just me. I enjoy traffic rules--because they keep me from WRECKING MY CAR. But I guess other people don't really care about that.

9) My brain hurts from trying to think of more random thoughts. Guess I didn't have as many as I thought.

10 Random Thoughts: Garbage. Yes. Mostly on Garbage.

10 Random Thoughts!

1) Do Garbage Collectors start out incredibly early in the morning because they are bitter and pissed off that they collect garbage for a living? And do they have the loudest engines and beeping beepers they can possibly possess just for added acknowledgment to the rest of the us that they are out there? We get it. You collect garbage. We're a trashy society. Now please, let me sleep in a bit longer.

2) Why is it that I can never find recipes I already cooked from? And then when I go looking for said recipe again it has magically disappeared off the face of the internet. I didn't think anything really disappeared off the face of the internet. But I guess recipes do.

3) Ryan puts hairspray in his hair. Hairspray smells funky. It ruins my coffee drinking.

4) I am actually not in a bad mood as the last few random thoughts may lead you to believe.

5) I can't watch Ryan eat. Still. After five years. I am amazed at the amount of crap he can put in his mouth at once (and by crap I mean food).

6) As I was saying, I am not in a bad mood. I don't really even care about the garbage trucks that much because my hangover woke me up way before they did. They're just loud. Which I find completely unnecessary. I'm not really that hungover either. So that's exciting news.

7) I think women need a new style of underwear. Has anyone seen that c-string? It's like a wired g-string. That's right, a g-string made out, instead of string, wire. Who the fuck thought that would be a good idea? Seriously. A man had to be behind that design. I think someone should come out with women boxers. Like the opposite of spanx. Just let everything hang where it wants to hang.

8) Ryan is paranoid that I am writing about him.

9) Hahaha.

10) Could somebody find me something delicious to do with kale that doesn't involve making them into chips?

Music Monday: Stroking it Hard.

Why is their music so upbeat and yet their lyrics are so depressing? I don't get it. But maybe they enjoy being contradictory.

Anyhoo. Here's some music for this sunny sunshine-y Monday.