Whipped My Ass.

Yesterday was Day 3 of my Roller Derby training. No, I'm not playing games yet. And no, I probably won't be for some time.

Yesterday I did crash hardcore though...over and over again.

And my wheel flew off my skate--but no worries, I didn't die!

I didn't really even get hurt, though the first fall was epic and had me not just crash, but flip over myself. No bruises to prove it, which I find rather sad.

I mean, what's a good fall without proof?

Maybe it's just an internal organ bruise--just what I need.

To be honest, I was kind of dreading going to practice; I think it's because I suck so much and hate sucking at things. I truly can't stand it. I want to immediately be good. And for some things I am, but most things, especially things involving wheels under my feet, I'm not.

But obviously being immediately good at everything is not how life works, at least not my life, no, in my life I have to work at it.

So.

I went and I improved--not drastically, but slightly and that's all I can do for now.

I am not dreading it anymore. I'm actually excited to see my improvement over time, and to do something for myself that physical, mental, and fun. I'm getting ripped, btw. And soon, I'll wear the booty shorts to prove it.

What's So Great About a Routine?

As many of you may recall I quit birth control cold tofurkey back in late September.

I've been waiting for the day when I could get on here and say Aunt Flo is in the hizzy; but still, she has not came to visit.

I'm wondering if I should be freaking out? I am not freaking out. But I'm curious to find out when my body will get back on track, back into a pattern, perhaps when that happens I will too?

Routine would be nice. But also, my life doesn't really bend well to routine. Schedules are actually making me anxious. For example, roller-derby, twice a week, at very specific times; it's not the fact that I am putting my 150# body on 8 wheels and circling around on a cement floor as fast as I can, but that I have to do it at a designated time. That makes me nervous. Isn't that weird?

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I'm sure there are plenty of things.

Maybe I already mentioned this, but I would really love events to be like Netflix movies; you can pick the time and day you want to go; instead of them being "pre-scheduled" on specific dates. But, alas, life doesn't work that way.

If I was a better life-designer I'd invite a way.

But for now, I'll just keep waiting, period.

(One of the many reasons why I'd never wanna be knocked up)

Shift It All Into Place. A Better Place.

So, my morning has sucked so far. For different reasons that are boring and trite. What I'm trying to figure out is if it's possible to turn a day that started off so sucky into a day that's awesome?

Because you know that feeling, like, when it all starts adding up, and the mood seems stuck?

Stuck in a muddle of irritating buzzes; deep sighs, silent screams.

Re-centering is the only way.

Or perhaps it's just the alignment of the stars and I should hide for the day?

Maybe I'll just do some back bends... that could shift everything.

Or at least shift my perspective.

(Also have you checked out my new website Aimless Cupid?)

It's Not About Love: Online Dating Adventures. (And Music Monday)

I know many of you have been curious about my new online dating life. Well, the website is finally up, Aimless Cupid: They Shoot, But They Don't Score.

Meeting people in real life, not through online sites, works out much better. It's very difficult to tell if there is any chemistry based on our percent match, or questions we answered, or even how they look in pictures; just because they're cute and funny doesn't mean there will be any type of connection. It can actually be a downer, going into it thinking how they're so charming and clever online and then to meet in reality and discover they're actually awkward and boring. (I know this goes both ways).

Anyway. It's Music Monday too, so here's a little Fiona Apple to set the mood while you check out the new site!

My First Roller Derby Practice: Success!

This was my first derby outfit.

It was not enough clothing. I, in fact, almost froze to death.

That's right. Death.

We play in a secret warehouse that has no heat. It's pretty much the most D.I.Y. sport I've ever ben apart of.

The secret of being a successful derby girl: duct tape, lots of duct tape. Really, you just have to wrap your entire body in duct tape and you're good to go.

Like my skates that I'm borrowing, full of holes and tears, but not after we fixed them up and turned them into ductskates.

Did I fall, you wonder?

No freakin way! I mean, I will, I totally will, a lot, but I did not last night. That's how good I am. And we also only skated for like 30 minutes, slowly.

The women are amazing. The skating is painful. The warehouse is creepy.

This is going to be good.

10 Quickies (Not the Kind You Think).

1) I have been working all day long. This is an accomplishment.

2) I also washed my sheets.

3) And brought back my planner.

4.) I am on top of shit.

5.) I have yet to actually get dressed in clothing that people don't just sleep in. Like I could put on a bra maybe, or some jeans.

6.) But, I got work done. And I'm not stopping yet.

7.) Soon, I'll have finished a blog post, so I can cross that off my list.

8.) Roller Derby tonight. First time. I'll blog about it tomorrow, so you all know what happened. I can tell you ahead of time: I fall down.

9.) I met a cute guy. Or two.

10.) You want more don't you? Well, I'll fill you in later. When I know more. The ridiculous messages have slowed down. I think it helped that I removed certain "wants" from my profile. And I am no longer "fresh" or "new," me being on there a week now.

Abracadabra...in your pants.

Last night I stole a ring from a magician.

Did you read that?

I stole. From a magician.

And now I have his super powers because it was all trapped inside this ridiculous ring.

He was not "dressed up" as a magician but being his "true" self, card tricks and all.

Halloween is weird.