And Life Just Gets More Entertaining When Your Parent's Dog Picks Out Your Dates.

My mom's dog Mindy recently helped me respond to a message I got on a popular free online dating site. Many people have asked me why I do this...

There are SOME cute guys. But really, the best way to look at it is like a garden... I am the garden and I have to keep plucking all of these weeds out. But occasionally I'll let a pretty flower blossom, but only if it's pretty. Then I'll pluck it's pretty head off and stick it in a vase until it withers up and dies and then I'll throw it away.

This particular guy was a doode who asked me if I wanted to chat. . .

Also, I apologize for the incredibly boring blogs lately. I umm... lead a very boring life right now. I mean, I'm not that bored. But I know I'm not very entertaining to you all.

My Adventures in Online Dating: Round 1.

So, I've gone on two OKC dates since I began my online adventures a month ago. I'm a little weirded out.

Both guys have been like 6"4. Hairy chested spunky characters. But I think what weirds me out the most is that both have perfectly manicured apartments, brightly painted colorful walls with really terrible art. But nice. Like, metrosexual nice.

Is this a thing guys in their 30s are doing?

I have rarely dated older guys. They're usually not my type. But I've decided to expand my horizons and give non-typical-types a shot. I think if I keep this up I could become an art dealer. I could just go into these 30-somethings apartments and be like, nope, this shit is ugly, I'm going to hook you up with an original ________; I'd hire an MFA student to paint something, and then take a percentage; it would work out for everyone. (Yes, this is actually a pretty good idea--don't even think about thief-ing it.)

Anyway. I've also been having regular conversations with dudes on OKC to sort of even out all of the really bad ones--an ok-karma game, if it worked that way. I've even had a conversation with this dude whose grammar is so bad he doesn't even use the correct words in sentences. But I've kept talking to him without being an asshole... because I'm trying to give guys a better shot. Though first impressions--even online--are generally pretty accurate.

Finally, I've been sort of seeing this guy, a guy that I did not meet on OKC but found his profile on there like a week later--so it sort of connects to my OKC life. I don't really know what to think of him. He's been acting rather dooode-ish lately. Ya ladies know whatimatalkin bout. video games. enough said. And I just need way more attention. I don't think people understand the amount of attention that is required in keeping my interest piqued. It's really a ridiculous amount. If I could I'd scale it down, but I can't so I get it however I can. If you want to get with this there has to be at least some sort of effort. I don't think that's too much to ask.

So, there you have it. My current adventures in online dating.

I think when I move to Denver I'm going to try to go on a different OKC date every night for a week. I can just imagine the stories now. I will, of course, blog daily about it, just for you dear reader, just for you.