The Art of: Drinking to a Perfect Drunkness

Last night while drinking margaritas, Lizz said that when she drinks gin she gets mean. When I drink gin I also get mean but it's only because i'm wondering why the fuck I am drinking such nasty liquor. But, the comment sparked me to think about our bodies and how they react to alcohol. After drinking several margaritas I noticed how much my buzz differed from when I drink beer. And I wonder how is it that different forms of alcohol not only affect ones own body differently, but how different forms of alcohol affect different people differently? We get a different type of buzz from beer than from liquor than from wine, yet each person seems to feel it in their own little way. And to go even more specific, we get a different type of drunk from PBR than from IPA. An alternative buzzness between vodka and tequila.

But here's the psychological kicker... if I go into a bar and have the option of drinking anything I want and I pick rum and coke fully knowing that rum turns me into a bitch, do I pick the rum and coke because I want an excuse to bring my bitch out, or do I pick it because that's what I'm just craving to drink? Am I craving to drink it because I have been repressing the bitch in me and it's just a subconscious reaction?

And how does one particular form of alcohol develop seemingly liquid traits i.e. rum makes me mean= rum is a mean liquor.... Is it because the first time you drank the rum you were having a bad night? The rum just seemed to highlight everything wrong and thus the rum became a liquor that brought out the "the bad" in your life every time you drank it after that first time? IDK.

If one wants to get the perfect buzz, how can one purposefully make that happen, especially if ones mood, body mass, food intake, reaction to, changes every day?

We all have to design our own formulas. This can take years. One may never each reach the desired results--which can also differ from person to person.

For example my desired results would be to consume the least amount of calories to the highest level of buzzness (the level before pure drunk obnoxiousness). It would entail not having to take shots of any kind. And of course, not waking up in the morning feeling as if my entire body has been stuffed with cotton and thrown into a mega-dryer for several hours.

But alas, this is only a desire. I have yet to find this perfect equation. But don't worry, I'll keep experimenting until I have the solution. . . even if it takes years upon years of testing. You're welcome to join me any time.