Say. My. Name?

So. I’ve recently discovered I have a problem (I mean, I obviously have multiple problems but I am now aware of this one) the problem is I get crushes on people based on the sound of their names... I have this weird fetish for vowel-y type names, like the ones that roll off your tongue. I do not know what’s wrong with me. But if the name is like a little haiku or just beautiful sounding in general I will probably be crushing on that person. Which is really weird because the person often isn’t as great as the name; I find this disappointing over and over again. It really brings up questions on what’s in a name, and if a name really determines a person or not. Like, Krystal. Sparkling clear glass. I think that’s pretty accurate. But what do names like Jake or Mike or Ben really do? These people have to work really hard at creating an identity that is more than their name. Which may be why names don’t matter or aren’t as determining as people want to believe.

BECAUSE the ones with the weird cool names don’t have to try as hard--they’re already born with interestingness labeled on them. Even if they themselves aren’t interesting.

But who am I to determine who is interesting in general? I can only determine who's interesting to me and I think I need to stop crushing on people just because they sound nice, literally, but aren't literally nice (I'm sure some are, but it's not like, based on the sounds of their names).

Ugh.

Really what I was thinking is that I should not be crushing on these people but their parents, like whoever named them. Those are probably the interesting people.

Unless it's a last name and then I don't know what I'm supposed to do about that. . .

Yep.

Stop asking people their names I guess. This is the new plan. Then I won't crush on them and problem solved!