Another Media (pill) Conspiracy

TV is making us all depressed. And they’re doing it through our subconscious. Anyone who has ever watched an hour of afternoon or late night tv can attest to this problem—too many depression commercials. At first when I saw these I thought they were kind of funny; I said some pretty mean jokes such as: “well if I were that ugly I’d be depressed too.” But then it got really old seeing all the ugly depressed people, so I would start changing the channel because they were bothering me so much, but then, at the exact same time on another channel a fucking depression commercial was on. Granted it was a different one but it didn’t make it any better. Depression was following me around.

The television was trying really hard to convince me I was depressed. It happened on more than one occasion. And to be quite honest sometimes it worked. It’s like that concept where you share the emotions of the other people around you, so if you’re around chipper happy people you’re in better spirits etc. Well they don’t have chipper happy people in the television, no, not in a way that makes you want to be around them. Television has clogged buttholes, and unclean catheters, flaccid penises, hemorrhoids, over action bladders. No wonder depression and anxiety is so predominant, we don’t know how to control anything below our waists.

But on to another point. Why is it that we need pills for particular emotions? If we’re depressed or anxious we have to take control of that because it’s wrong to feel that way. Why? Why can’t we have a day or two where we feel bad. The problem isn’t that we feel depressed or anxious or angry or sad it’s that we don’t know how to really feel it, to get in-tune with it and understand why we feel that way. If we can begin to understand that yes, some days we may not feel as wonderful as others and we just have to power through, feel it, and move on, wouldn’t that be better than being doped up on pills that really just mask our true feelings? (I am sure that some people really do have a chemical imbalance but I do not think it’s as many as who are actually on the pills right now, if that were the case then would it really be an imbalance or just how a large minority of people are actually composed?)

Basically though, if you are feeling a little off I would not recommend turning on the television. If you need to veg out put in your favorite movie or album because the TV is OUT to GET you and turn you into another anti-depressant zombie. Pharmaceutical companies want you to want them and they will do whatever it takes to get you hooked on something, even if it’s a made up disease like wrinkly butt syndrome.

If you find this opinion on anti-depressants offensive I believe there’s a pill for that (it may cause diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, shortness of breath, difficulties urinating, thoughts of suicide, difficulties sleeping, and or a light butt rash.)